Random reflections, wryly

I have never done karaoke, and I never will.

I don’t understand runners. I don’t know what in the world they are doing.

Dancing — a faint memory from my roaring twenties that I hope goes away.

Reggae is the devil’s flatulence.

A good, mean rollercoaster mainlines an unparalleled high. 

There is nothing sexier than a comely woman reading a book. 

Cars. I will never get them. They are like refrigerators — necessary appliances.

‘Good dog’ is redundant.

People who purposely don’t travel are unevolved and sad. (And people who say Munich is better than Paris are the most unevolved and most sad.)

Going to the movies alone is the best.

Religion is so radically misunderstood, so repulsively knotted up, we should hit delete and start all over again.

I am constitutionally incapable of playing charades.

Giving money to your alma mater is strictly for suckers.

Unless you’re doing it to a tiny child, the high-five is socially questionable. Fist-bumps — criminal.

There are worse things than tongue piercings. Though I can’t think of anything.

When an adult says they’re “reading” Harry Potter, they’re not really reading at all.

Sushi is sublime. I’ll even eat the grocery store crap.

I‘m thinking of going back to Japan. The more I think about it, the crazier I get.

I have this thing that if someone tells me they don’t read, I want to go back in time to the moment where I hadn’t met them.

Carnivals are disgusting and revolting. I adore everything about them. Even those poor goldfish.

I can’t do the Great Outdoors. It’s the outdoors part that gets me.

I like sharks a lot. If one bit me, it would probably like me too.

Pet rats are like itty-bitty dogs — highly intelligent, funny, trainable, social, responsive. They drink beer and eat anything and, well, everything. Then at about 2-years-old they die and shatter your heart into 10,000 pieces. They’re the best.

If, in a post-apocalyptic world, all sports were wiped out, I wouldn’t care a whit. Take the fans first.

I was thinking of going to a local food festival and parade. Temporary insanity just creeps up on you.


4 thoughts on “Random reflections, wryly

  1. Some random replies on random reflections
    On karaoke – There is nothing that kills a party like watching someone hook up the karaoke machine. Since the wife is Filipina we get invited to a number of Filipino parties where karaoke is as de rigueur as San Miguel beer, the giant economy sized Johnny Walker Black and lumpia. The latter if made well almost makes the karaoke palatable.

    I’ve been running for 50 years and I don’t know what we do either.

    Dancing – Vertical expression of a horizontal desire.

    Unless it’s a comely woman wearing a cowboy hat.

    I once felt the same way about cars until I got a Challenger SRT with a herd of 500 horses. It was the only time I really enjoyed driving. It was almost better than sex and under the right circumstances might have inspired sex with a perfect or more likely an imperfect stranger. Sold it for a Honda Civic and now my car has achieved refrigerator status again.

    I don’t know if religion is misunderstood but it’s certainly misused. I hit my own personal delete button on organized religion after having tried for 50 some years to reboot it.

    I came to the same conclusion about movies after my then girlfriend Linda Wong and I got into an argument over the Deer Hunter when it came out. She objected that it portrayed Asians in a negative light and I told her to lighten up. The silent treatment and all that went with it (or was withheld) lasted for days. In retrospect she was right.

    Tongue piercings are a direct career path towards barista or record store employee with no chance for advancement to a real job. If you’re either of those professions Chris, accept my apology.

    I agree on local food festivals. I already know the local food. However, I’ll be in Maine during the lobster festival and I’m happy to brave the insanity.

    Sports I like – it’s fans I don’t.

    Why just Alabama? I say give the former Confederate States a do over on that secession thing with the exception of enclaves like NOLA, Nashville and Austin.

    I’m not familiar with Phoebe Waller-Bridge. I would date Lucy Liu in a heartbeat though for obvious reasons and especially if you’ve paid attention to my blog. Lucy gets bonus points if she’s wearing a cowboy hat. As a footnote I wouldn’t get near Elizabeth Moss. Not that I dislike her. I think she’s great but I’ve seen her pissed off look in A Handmaid’s Tale and I don’t think I’d like to chance seeing that stare from across a dinner table.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Damn, Paulie, that comment is wonderful and it’s exactly why I love your responses, as well as your splendid blog. Thanks for making me smile, shake my head and crack-up.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. You just educated me, Jessica. I had to look up inari — it looks amazing. I’ll get some definitely if I actually return to Japan. Thanks!


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